Waxed for her pleasure or for his?

So let’s be blunt: yes, there is definitely a certain aesthetic appeal to a nicely manicured, if not completely mowed lawn. A trimming of the hedges. A little bush-whacking. Ok, ok enough of the euphemisms – you all know what I am talking about – yes, that’s right, the bikini wax! All types, from modest to bare, whatever your preference, there is no denying that millions of women everywhere love having the kitty skimmed, trimmed, and ready-to-wear. But why do we love it? Is it because of our own visual or physical sensibilities, or maybe our partner’s sensibilities, or perhaps we feel it’s just what society expects of us, as women?

Recently I listened to an interview with a filmmaker about her documentary on hair removal (all kinds, not just bikinis) and why women do it. Her opinion and the focus of her documentary was that women do it out of a subservience to men, society and/or expectations of society as a whole. As a feminist, she believes that hair removal stands in the way of her feminist sensibilities. But does it? I don’t think so. According to official definitions a feminist is “an advocate or supporter of the rights and equality of women.” It’s about freedom of choice, the rights of expression. The right to have or to not have hair. Does removing my hair make me un-feminist? No it does not. I am a proud, hairless, feminist, who just happens to also be, feminine.

Now. IF there are some women who shave or get waxed to look pretty for their partner, fine! That’s great. But is she doing it because she feels like she has to or her partner is making her, or is she doing it because it makes HER feel pretty and sassy? Yes, there are some women who feel embarrassed about body hair and have it removed because of society pressures, but most women (in my experience as an esthetician for many years), whether it be a bikini, leg, arm, or other body wax, do it because of HER needs, not HIS. And in the case of the bikini or Brazilian wax, so what if it is to please your partner? What’s wrong with igniting a few sparks to start a fire? What’s wrong with wanting to make your partner happy? And why does this equate to “oh, your partner must be a pervert for wanting you to look like a prepubescent little girl.”? Why does it have to go there? I’m sure that element exists in some cases, but why can’t it be a simple case of wanting a visual treat so you can see each other’s business? Yes, men get “cleaned up”, too. Does removing my hair mean that I am objectifying my body or that I am an unwilling player in the hyper-sexualization of girls and women? No. Again, I am sure that element exists. But if you ask most women why they wax or shave, you will hear this: We do it because it’s smooth. We do it because it’s clean. We do it because it just looks and feels better. And come on, it’s sexy (not a dirty word!) To many women, myself included (and now you know) having little or no hair down there is freeing. There are so many other weights on our shoulders already, if there is something I can do to make myself feel a little sassier to get through the day, then so be it. Off with her hair!

Here’s the interview:


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